I have shared this before on my blog, but given the tragedy in Connecticut this morning, I must share it again.
Remember…pray for the children!
Category: Stories
My Pensieve
The first time J. K. Rowling introduced me to the magical object known as a Pensieve, I was hooked! I have often said that if there were anything from Potter’s world that I could have in this one, it would be a Pensieve.
Well, I found one. And I didn’t even have to get ripped off on Ebay. (I am fairly certain I found this one “hiding” in the journal section of Amazon.com.)
It doesn’t look like much. I admit that. Most of you are saying to yourself, “Okay, it’s a pretty book and quite possibly a pretty journal but that is about all.”
I also admit that it is a far, far cry from the magical device that Professor Dumbledore kept stored in his office. It’s not even close to that but yet I have desired for quite some time a device like Dumbledore’s – something to store my memories in so that I could look at them from different perspectives. Some place where I could lay to rest painful things, store away wonderful things, and even piece together puzzling things so that sometime later I could take a look at them again and maybe, just maybe, see something different.
Not so long ago, I began taking a continuing education class on “Healing the Brain”. It is one that is offered by the Center for Family Process in Bethesda, MD. I took it out of curiosity – the main presenter had written several papers that I found fascinating and I took it out of convenience – the course is offered as a “teleconference” over a ten month period. But mainly, I took it because something deep inside me needed it.
I have kept a journal of one kind or another for years. Sometimes I am good at writing in them and sometimes I am not. I guess you can see where I get my less than regular posting schedule for this blog. It comes pretty naturally to me.
However, since I began taking this course, something incredible has happened.
I wanted to show an actual page from my journal – which I now refer to as my Pensieve. (But I couldn’t trust myself to blur and mar the image enough that it wouldn’t be readable at some point.) But now, my Pensieve and I are now very best friends. I may go days without posting on this blog, but hardly a day goes by that I don’t dip into my skull with one of my many colored pens and pull out some memory of the day or the long almost forgotten past and place it in my Pensieve. I then spend three or four days going over the same memory from different angles to give me a better feel as to what really happened.
And that has been really freeing for me. I am lighter these days. I am less frazzled these days. I am better rested these days. I am still a bit forgetful, but maybe even that will heal in time. I am very thankful that God finally found a way to show me a Pensieve!
Just for fun I will share one of the entries that I have placed in the Pensieve. This entry came after recalling a particular event four times. It is my summary of what came from that time:
I will write this in red, just for me:
A daytime nightmare woke me from my slumber
I was not asleep really – I found no proper rest
I was wide awake to the anxious forces around me
I was wide awake to my own pain
And yet it was a nightmare in the daytime
That jarred me
That shook my anger and rage awake
that took me to a dark night of the soul
that let me loose my own anxiety
and I found
I found
“I”
See you on the road home! (You’ll know me…I’ll be the one with a pretty journal in my hand.)
A Twenty Minute Detour
As a new blogger, I am reading other blogs to try and find that little bit of inspiration that will help me write.
Today, as I read a blog post by Jonathan Malm, I ended up taking a little detour to a magazine that was more than worth the twenty minutes minutes I spent looking at it. I thoroughly enjoyed the content – especially the articles on leadership, website site design (“More is More”) and the music review. I even have some new music to listen to now.
Whatever your role is in the church – from pastor to pew sitter to anything in between – I can’t help but recommend this resource as fresh, inviting and positive! Take the detour with me…I doubt that you will be disappointed.
Four Bishops and a Baby
Yesterday morning I sat with my arm around one of my “babies.” Okay, Erin is sixteen now, and much older than that in her mind and actions but when Daddy is around, well, she is still one of my babies. Besides, when I am giving her driving lessons, I can’t sit that close and can only barely remember the days that she used to fidget on my lap when we went to special worship services.
We participated in worship as three new bishops were consecrated into service in The United Methodist Church. She had been with the NEJ all week and got to see the whole process unfold in their selection and was just bursting to tell me so many things. However, we were in worship and she decided it would be best to contain herself. (I gotta say, the drive home was information overload for any Dad!)
Even though she participated and was quiet through most of the service there were four times she couldn’t help but speak to me.
When we began singing a song written by Bishop Grove, she pointed to his name and then said, “He was so very encouraging to me this week AGAIN. I just love the way he treats me.” I smiled and went back to being the good, quiet worshiper a Dad is supposed to be.
When Bishop Steiner Ball – our soon to be new Resident Bishop in the WVAC – was being prayed over by the College of Bishops, Erin said, “I did get to meet her as well and she was also very encouraging to me.” I noticed the tearing up in her eyes and did my best to keep my eyes dry as well.
When Bishop Bickerton joined those who were praying for the new Bishops, Erin leaned over and said, “I didn’t realize till this week that he used to be your mentor! He is such a kind man!” This time I fidgeted a little, and told her that yes, he was my mentor and he is a very kind man.
And finally, she just couldn’t stop talking about Bishop Webb, another one of our new Bishops. She told me how he was so excited about a few little words of encouragement she offered to him that he brought his whole family over to meet her and really made her feel accepted and loved. By this point, I know I had quit worshiping on “my own” and had somehow got caught up in the Spirit moving in this sixteen year old and I saw everything around me differently.
Four bishops and MY baby.
I am glad we have women and men like these in leadership in our church. Leaders who do not overlook the youth that are around them and who I trust will be praying and working with these youth to bring the Kingdom news to their friends.
Not Quite Home 