Tag: Family

Random Facts and Future Posts??

Eleven Random Facts

I thought I would give something a try that I have seen several bloggers do in their writing when sharing about themselves – with my own little twist – and just throw out Eleven Random Facts about Scott Sears.  Here goes:

  1. One of my recent “guilty pleasures” is playing Song Pop on Facebook.  I especially love it when I am able to beat my youngest daughter on the “Glee” songs and get especially frustrated when she trashes me on 80’s music.  That just shouldn’t happen!
  2. I love to walk.  I don’t usually take the time I need to walk as much as I should but I love to walk.  At the same time, I only run when something is chasing me.  (Sorry, older brother.  I don’t think I will join you in any marathons anytime soon.)
  3. All three of my daughters got their first names from either celebrities or characters on television.
  4. I have played the role of Charlie Brown on stage and thought the experience was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  How do you act like Charlie Brown??
  5. Favorite ice cream – butter pecan.  It is made even better with Hershey’s Caramel syrup on it.
  6. I cannot repeat the word I said when I found out that Pam and I were expecting our first child.  (Don’t worry…my daughter knows the whole story.)
  7. I once dreamed of being an Olympic athlete in cycling.
  8. I used to watch soap operas A LOT…especially “General Hospital”.  (See Random Fact number 3 above.)
  9. Sometimes I have a hard time enjoying games because I am incredibly competitive.
  10. If I could change anything about myself it would be my forgetfulness.
  11. Bacon.  I love bacon.  Actually, I think it is more correct to say that I love pork.  Bacon is just the most accessible and versatile.  And yes, I did try the bacon sundae that Burger King sold at one time or another, but only once.

There you go…Eleven Random facts about Scott Sears, the guy who is “Not Quite Home” yet.  You can thank both Jay and Amy, two colleagues of mine, who challenged me to be less pastoral in my blogging.

Now I have eleven new things to write about!

Tell me which one you want to hear about first. 🙂

A Week for Children…Thursday…Bullying

I walked about a mile to school everyday because I couldn’t stand to be on the bus that would take me.  There was a bully on that bus that would hit me, spit on me or just call me names as my friends laughed.  I never learned how to stand up to him…I just walked.

I set out this week to present something each day that would be a reminder for everyone to pray for children – both those in our sphere of influence and those around the world.  I did this because the church I serve is going to hold a special service called “Children’s Sabbath” this Sunday where we honor the gift that children are to us and recommit ourselves to justice issues surrounding children.

Sometime early last week, I laid out a framework of topics to write about for this week.  I knew I wanted to use the two prayers that have been shared and found video presentations of them that I thought were pretty good.  I shared a “children’s sermon” from a recent worship service at First UMC, Princeton, and I did a justice piece on the topic of abortion.

The last piece I set out to do was today’s piece on bullying because there are some great educational opportunities coming up in our community on the issue and I thought that they needed to be shared.  I also asked our youth group to do some anonymous sharing about bullying.  (You’ll see their quotes peppered throughout this piece.)

I can’t really say that I’ve been the bully or even seen someone being bullied,
but I’ve been bullied.
You see, one time…most of the boys in my class called me gay…
Even kids my age and younger are getting bullied… I’m standing up to bullies.

One event, being held this evening at the Chuck Mathena Center is led by Keith Deltano and sponsored by the Mercer County Schools called “Bully-Proof Your Child”.  You can learn more about Mr. Deltano’s program here – but it looks great to me and the presentation is free.

One time I was at the mall and I saw a guy screaming at his girlfriend.
She told him to stop and then he slapped her.

Thanks to Christopher Gudger-Raines for reminding me of the following:
On Sunday, October 14, at 5:30 pm, Greenview UMC will be hosting a presentation by the Mercer County Parents and Students Coalition Against Bullying.  There will be free food and child care will be provided for those under 5.

The third event, being held on October 22nd at 6:00 pm is a “Kindness Kounts Parade” being held on Mercer Street.  This event is being sponsored by “Protect Our Kids 2012” which has set the goal of eliminating bullying in our schools and communities for our youth.  They are looking for people to march in the parade and offering assistance to anyone who may need it for this issue.

Parade Information
Kindness Kounts Parade

I would love to put a group together from our congregation to participate.  Anyone wish to join me?

One time, my bully and I were left unfortunately alone in the school grounds.
She asked if she could punch me and I, being afraid of her, assented.
The bruise stayed on my arm for weeks.
(I got the courage to confront her and she denies everything.
She lorded over me; I agreed to it all.)

However, I don’t think I was prepared for the actual flood of memories that this topic triggered for me.

The very first quote…well, it is mine.  I am not sure when the last time I thought about those days were but I know that they were not fun.  I am not sure to this day how much of being told to “turn the other cheek” in Sunday School and church had to do with what happened and my response but I am sure they had something to do with it.  I just know that those were painful experiences that by the grace of God (and walking) I lived through and grew through.  Some are not so blessed…so I am thankful.  I doubt that my experience was unique either…especially when I read the quotes included in this post.

However, I know that this problem of bullying (like many of the problems in our society) have not gotten any better with time.  It is only through addressing the causes and being willing to engage ourselves in the lives of those affected by this problem that we are able to do anything.  And once again, I think the cross of Jesus calls us to reach out to those who are bullying as well as those who are being bullied.  It is not an either/or situation – it is about people not just a “problem.”  And as someone who knows the One who came to “live in the neighborhood with us” I think I have to be about the people…not just the problem.

So today I hope you will say a prayer.  Maybe for yourself and the healing you may need – but also, say a prayer for the children in our community who are affected by bullying and for those who are working to help eliminate this problem.

And I would also add that if there is anyone reading this who needs to talk about what they are going through now…get in touch with me.  I know where we can find help.

A Week for Children… Tuesday – Let’s Talk About Abortion

Yesterday I shared with you a fairly non-controversial video that I found on YouTube to start the week off looking forward to a Children’s Sabbath on Sunday. That video was safe. It didn’t take much to put it together and it certainly didn’t share much about me – beyond the fact that I truly do care about what violence is doing to our children today. But once again…that’s pretty safe. No risk involved there.

Today, I want to venture into territory that is at least a little more worthy of conversation if not downright risky and yet still has everything to do with children. At best, I hope I can spark some Christian conversation on a topic that seems to me has been captured by our culture. I really hope that this conversation is what begins here today because I don’t pretend to have all the answers about a very difficult issue…I just think that we are going about our conversations about it in all the wrong ways. So, it is my hope that you will read these words with care because they are shared to start a conversation…not to end any relationships!

So, with that lengthy introduction allow me to say that I am not a “Right-to-Life” person as many people define it. At the same time, I want to equally declare that I am not “Pro-Choice” either.

I cannot recall all the conversations, teachings, and books that led me to the discovery that both of these cultural definitions of abortion are wrong. I just know that it has been a long journey for me and one that is filled with as much personal agonizing as a person can have about the issue of abortion. I know that I was greatly affected by the teaching of Stanley Hauerwas on this issue. The book, The Church and Abortion, along with the “Durham Declaration” included in that book has also shaped me. But I have also been shaped by my own journey, my own story, and the stories that have been shared by many friends – both Christian and what I like to call pre-Christian. Whatever the sources of these beliefs, I know that this is where I am today.

I do not hold to the “right-to-life” position on abortion because I do not believe that we, as Christians can claim that life is somehow linked to some legal sense of “rights.” I think when we begin talking about this issue in that way – a way that starts with “rights” – we are forgetting that we are a people who have placed our very lives in the hands of God. In a very real way, we gave away our lives when we were baptized and to claim that anyone has a “right” to life ignores the fact that this is actually God’s domain. God is the one who gives life. God is the one who takes life. It is not a right that we grant to anyone – even ourselves – it is a gift that we receive and a loss that we mourn.

Now, I am not saying that life is not important. It is VERY important. But it should also be shaped by the way we see the world as Christians. In the very earliest days of Christianity, there were Christian parents who would prefer to see their children martyred rather than let then be brought up outside of the Christian faith. THAT is hard for me to imagine and almost impossible for me to imagine doing – and yet it is part of the history to which I am bound as a Christian. Life, and the way we live that life is so very important that there are some things for which we are willing to die. Yet, life is not a right that we have.

At the same time, I find the whole idea of “Pro-Choice” to be equally distasteful to me as a Christian. The very words assume that we live in a world in which all the people share the same playing field, the same backgrounds and the same possibility for their future. If the video in yesterday’s blog post proved anything, it proved that our world is not full of choices – at least not for everyone.

Unfortunately, in the broken world in which we live, some women have to choose between not having a child they conceived and facing a very violent future for themselves and their child. That violence may come in the form of economic hardship or it may come at the hands of an abuser. Either way the violence is real in the way it affects the life of the woman and the child. This is not a real choice…or at least it is not the same choice that someone has who is in a place in life where they are “safe” economically or physically.

For us to say that abortion can truly be a “choice” for any one person is to claim that the world is treating each and every person the same. I am not sure when that ever happens.

So…I don’t like “Right-to-Life” and I am certainly not “Pro-Choice”…where does that leave me exactly?

I think it leaves me looking at this whole issue as one of “hospitality” rather than legal battles and legislation. I believe that as Christians we will only eliminate abortion when we truly begin living out our calling to welcome everyone as Christ welcomed us. This means embracing every child – from a planned or unplanned pregnancy. This means embracing every woman – those who cannot have children but desperately want them as well as those who have had an abortion and are living with it and those who are mothers in any stage of life. This means embracing every man – those who turn out to be good at fathering children but not so good at parenting, as well as men who are great fathers and those men who are suffering from having aborted a child – and yes, you can trust me that this last group of men exist.

I know that I read somewhere that Mother Teresa once said to a group of Americans, “Do you really want to end your fighting about abortion? Then give me your children. I will take all of them…no matter what.”

I think that once WE get to the place where we are able to say those very same words of welcome to every child, woman and man around us – and live those words of welcome with our actions and even the use of our time, money and other resources – then, we can really talk about ending abortion.

Once again, if you have read this far, I pray that you realize that I am not making light of a very real issue. I am simply trying to help us all see it and talk about it in different terms, especially during the week that we celebrate gift that children are to us. I pray that you will give me the grace I need to find the words to get it right.

Wanna join the conversation?

9/11 and Home

As I read a devotion written by a colleague I was reminded of what a huge difference the events of 9/11 made on my home.

Unlike many people, I was not glued to the news on that day.   In fact, Pam and I did not learn about the tragedy until several hours later. At the urging of our Bishop’s spouse, Jane Ives, Pam and I were receiving Marriage Enrichment training at Spring Heights. We did not hear the news for a couple of hours when it was reported to us by the staff. We were no where near any televisions to see what was happening.

The leader of our training asked us to make the decision about whether we should stay there for our training or return home to our families and churches. Pam and I talked and prayed about it and realized that our children were in the very best care – our parents were watching them and our family from Peterstown UMC were checking on them. They were safe in a home we couldn’t build on our own.

However, we were doing important work ourselves on the home we were making for those two girls, my older daughter and our witness to the church.

Our church had a prayer service without a pastor present. I understand it was very moving.

Our children got to see the loving, caring side of the church and the commitment of grandparents that had reared their parents.

Pam and I continued to work on the one strong gift of peace we could give – the witness of a stronger marriage. We have never regretted that decision.

Although the world changed in many ways on that day… It got stronger for me. The bonds of my many homes were very real and very present!